Tuesday, 5 April 2011

This old blog of mine

Just having a moan to myself so I'll understand if you don't want to read any further.

I nearly deleted this post but it's here as a memo for me.

When I started this blog it was partly on the advice of my doctor; I've suffered from panic attacks and depression since my late twenties and she thought that if I wrote a diary of my day to day life it might help to see what achievements I've made and spur me on to do more. I started with a big notebook and wrote all my thoughts and memories down and then gradually when I got used to the computer I thought that it would be a good idea to write about my life, family and hobbies on here and I'd also be able to make it more real by adding photos. Somehow, along the way, my blog turned into a stitching blog.....not that I mind showing my cross stitch....but it doesn't record the good days and bad days like my notebook did and after reading one of my old books it's made me realise that I seemed better then than I do now.

Winter is always a bad time for me and I can't wait for spring to arrive but this year I can't get out of the rut that I've got stuck in over winter. Curling up in a cosy armchair in front of a roaring fire watching endless programmes on the telly might seem an ideal way to spend a day, but when you do it day after day and can't motivate yourself to do anything, it starts to become a habit that I can't get out of.

I don't know why I get depressed. I have a wonderful family who are my world, my husband never moans when I'm feeling down and always tells me not to worry and do what I can when I feel like it. I do have good days when everything goes well and I am so grateful for these days.

I know that I should thank God for every day that He gives me especially since losing my cousin last month to breast cancer at the age of 44, and I have so many blessings with children and grandchildren so why am I like this!

Perhaps I'll never know but at least I feel better for getting it off my chest.

Tomorrow is another day and hopefully it will be a good one.......

Love and hugs,


Sally said...

{{{{hugs}}}} Sue. I am suffering myself at the moment and find that I have good days and bad.

amelia said...

I have a hubby like that too and while they are great men what we really need is a swift kick in the butt!! Metaphorically speaking of course!!
I'm like you but not because of the winter, I love the winter. It's my 'mother' problems that make me want to run and hide.
I started my blog for the same reasons though and I find it really does help to have the support of other people.
Good luck with being stuck in a rut though. Sometimes I find the only way is to force yourself!! :)

Babs in Alabama said...

Sue, it's ok to talk about things on your "stitching" blog. Just knowing someone listens can make one feel better and to show off your beautiful stitching ought to bring a big smile cause your work does inspire others.

Val said...

Hey Sue, I thank you for visiting my blog. I also thank you for this post. I think we all get depressed from time to time. I think keeping our hands busy helps that. So don't think you are the only one. My Mom (hartdolls.blogspot.com) just wrote a post about the fig tree and her feelings of depression. Go visit her. You will make her day.